HOW TO AVOID AND OVERCOME BITTERNESS AS A CHRISTIAN

What Is Bitterness?

Bitterness can be defined as "an intense, deep-seated feeling of resentment, indignation, and ill-will against someone or something which we feel has committed an insult, injustice, or offense against us." It is an emotional response which results from failing to properly deal with feelings of personal outrage, anger, unforgiveness, and contempt. More so, is a condition which can arise when we fail to adequately resolve feelings of personal injury such as being humiliated, offended, unfairly treated, slighted, misunderstood, misused, misinterpreted, wronged in some way, or having our rights violated or ignored.

What Does Bitterness Do To Christians?

Bitterness is like a festering sore (Quote: CEI). It is a cancerous condition which can consume us with ill-will, negativity, slander, fault-finding, criticism, complaining, and an argumentative spirit. The Bible compares bitterness to a "root" and declares that many have been "defiled" by it (Heb.12:15). The scriptures speak of a "root of bitterness" because its potential effect upon our lives can be as widespread and entangle our life. When bitterness is allowed to take root, it becomes an increasingly deadly and destructive problem which chokes every area of our existence. If left unchecked, it will completely contaminate us and eventually undermine our relationship with God, spell spiritual shipwreck, and seriously damage our relationships with even our closest loved ones and friends.

What Are The Common Effects Of Bitterness?

Research shows that many sicknesses and ailments linger in the body due to bitterness in the heart of the individual who has refused to let go of offense and bitterness. It breeds a wide variety of destructive conditions. It adversely affects every area of our mental, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual well-being. Bitterness contaminates us with feelings of hostility, resentment, antagonism, hatred, suspicion, jealousy etc. It can quench our joy and enthusiasm for life in the Spirit, undermine our interest for the things of God, harden our hearts, pervert our spiritual judgment, distort our image of God, and ruin relationships. Bitterness generates irritability, frustration, discontent, anger, apathy, stress, and feelings of rejection and condemnation. It can cause nervous tension, insomnia, physical and emotional fatigue, headaches, high blood pressure, loss of appetite, and ulcers.

The Common Causes Of bitterness

The six Common causes of bitterness are:

1. Unfulfilled Expectations

2. Unresolved Offenses

3. Unresolved Anger

4. A Failure To Forgive

5. A Failure To Yield Our Rights

6. Fellowshipping Bitterness

How To Resolve Offense And Bitterness

When we're offended by our brethren, we don't wait till the person in question come to say I'm sorry before we have to forgive the person. To wait for the person to say sorry, we only linger to pierce our souls with many sorrow (Ephesians 4:26-32). It is maturity on our side to seek reconciliation wholeheartedly before bitterness drive us to it home of grief and death (not sensitive to the Holy Spirit). Meekness is the tool to bring quick reconciliation among brethren. So, I stand to say that, meekness is not a weakness but power under perfect control. As a matter of fact, in resolving offense, it is in a believer's best interest to let go of bitterness from the heart lest he (or she) is dull of hearing from the Spirit and undoubtedly, all root of bitterness has the potential to grief the Spirit. Love must pierce our hearts the more and evidently, this love will detonate all bitterness in our hearts. Through my own experiences I have discovered that when I don't reconcile on time with anyone who has hurt me or offended me, I feel like I'm dying away in strength and the integrity of heart and to this end, I always feel so sick in my body, soul and spirit. Hence, I perceived, is better one feel like this than to be indifference to keeping grudges and malice at any level. Of a truth, to feel troubled when an iota of bitterness wants to tarry in our minds will lead to godly reconciliation than to be at home with bitterness.

We must recognize that unforgiveness is a sin which generates grievances, resentment, and offenses. If a failure to forgive someone is a contributing factor in our bitterness, we must commit ourselves to genuinely forgive those who have offended us. The Scripture says: "Let all bitterness wrath, anger...be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you" (Eph. 4:31, 32). We must confront any tendency on our part to hold a grudge, nurse a grievance in our hearts, or dwell upon past injustices. Forgiveness is not only a preventative safeguard against potential offenses and resentment, but it is also an essential prescription for healing existing bitterness. If we will commit ourselves to forgive and permit the love to prevail, we will eliminate a major obstacle in the pathway to overcoming bitterness.

How To Overcome Bitterness

We must exercise preventative mechanism, because bitterness is such a potentially devastating condition, we must always exercise godly cautions and restraints lest we fall prey to this sin or fall back under its corrosive influence after we have recovered from it. The scriptures exhort us to "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life (Prov.4:23). We must be careful not to allow offenses, misunderstandings, anger, disappointments, sensitiveness, trials, delays, setbacks, or any other factor to plant the destructive seeds of bitterness in our hearts. The scriptures further admonish us to be "looking diligently lest...any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble" (Heb.12:15). We must be alert, therefore, diligently guarding our attitudes, reactions, motives, confessions, and thought life. We must regularly examine each of these areas and cleanse any tendency on our part to cultivate the seeds of bitterness. "This is how I see you overcoming it, and to me it's the best way to overcome bitterness".

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